What you don't see...

So tonight I was going to blog about the filming of batman on wall street but something came up so we will keep that for another night and tonight will be on friendship and  life in NYC. For people who truly know me and my "life story" know that I have been through hell and back with so called "friends" and with girls, but it's the things that they have done to me that has given me the strength to do what I am doing now. I would say all my life I had a small group of friends because to me it was the quality of the friendship rather then then numbers of friends...When I moved to NYC I knew it was going to be very hard to keep in touch with everyone but I didn't know that it would be this hard....This might came out wrong but its my blog so I can say it... People have to realize that even though it looks like my life is so perfect living NYC pursuing  modeling, getting to live a dream.. It's extremely hard, lonely, and at times very depressing. Yes, I am truly blessed and very thankful but its one of the hardest things I have ever done. Everyone sees all the good things but never the bad things.  Can you image moving to a big city all by yourself at the age of 19? Knowing NO ONE... and having people came into your life, growing close then moving away? Having no family, and no one that is super close to you?? I cry myself to sleep some nights but then I think I want to do this for myself because its a dream and I want to fulfill it. Being here alone, it only takes a little to make me happy and feel loved. I am finally finding out who my real friends are. First of all, a friendship takes two people....Even though I am the one who moved away doesn't mean that I am the only one who needs to be in communication with you. Both ways! My true friends Know how I feel and we will send sweet text whenever we can. Yes, its very hard because we are all extremely busy but one sweet text can make someones day. And confirmation on how someone feels is always a good thing too.There are a few people in my life that have given me so much strength and encouragement I have no idea what I would do without them! Its those people that I thank God for. Tonight, I have figured out that some people just don't need to be in my life anymore because they were just hurting me in the long run. I have lost enough people to know how important it is to tell people how you feel. Maybe I do need to be a little more aggressive with that. Im sorry if this is all over the place, I will say writing this I was hurt, and sad!

When You smile, I smile :)

So the last week or so has honestly been two of the best weeks living in NYC! Gods timing is always so funny! When I first moved to the city I found, The Icarus Account twin brothers with an amazing talent!  They write there own songs but also are know for some amazing covers! Look them up! There music has inspired me so much and has gotten me through all the struggles I have faced living here in NYC. Well in the summer, I liked there fan page and the next thing I noticed was that Ty Turner, The one with long hair, Added me to his personally page and we started talking. We started skyping, texting and talking on the phone! JUST AS FRIENDS. Okay.. so the point of this story is that this past week he was in NYC and we meet and hung out in person for the first time. He is one of the sweetest guys I have met and is friends with! We hung out a couple of times but he sadly left today... Surprisingly it was very hard to say goodbye to him.. But we plan on keeping in touch and staying friends! If you have not heard of them but I highly suggest you youtube them! I am addicted to there music. :) Moving on! I talked about her in my last blog very shortly but God has brought her into my life for reason.... A friend! Amy, My new roommate. I have been praying that I would meet someone that I would be able to call my best friend and open up to and talk to here in NYC, and God for sure answered my prayers! Every time I come home from work we both just talk and we already can read each other and know what the other is thinking without a word. The other roommates have kinda taken over the living room so me and her took over the bedroom! We put up the first christmas decoration. A little christmas tree! The vibe in the bedroom is such a different vibe then the one in the living room and its a good thing. I finally  feel comfortable and at "home" in my bedroom.

Sunshine and Rain

"Sitting in silence
Trying to fight this
Trying to make it last"

-The Icarus Account

I am just getting ready for bed and decided that I needed to write in my blog and just update a little.. Work at tony's has been going great! Its getting to be the holidays so we are booked almost every weekend! Its fun to see so many people from different areas of the country! My managers are very appreciative of how hard I work and it feels good to know your hard work is paying out. I have been there for almost two months, I think, and have been given two raises. Some of the hostess that have been there for longer then me, are not very happy with me. But I just let it go cause obvious I work harder then them.  But anyway.. I got a new roommate her name is Amy! And I absolutely adore her. She is one of the sweetest girls you will ever meet. We just hang in the bedroom alone and Listen to pandora and talk at night! I finally feel like I almost have a sister. We have a lot of common and we just bonded very fast! She is a year younger then me so I instantly feel like an older sister in her life! She has only been her for one week but we instantly clicked. Anyway.. I finally get to go home for a week on nov 19th and I am so excited. I have not been home since I moved to NYC so its past due! Its very stressful though because I will only be there for a week and I have a lot of people to visit and see. But its going to fun and I deff need it. Well Its time for bed, So goodnight! <3 

Occupy Wall Street

Most people already know, that my apartment is on wall street. But if you didn't know you know! This protest is something that I deal with on a Daily bases. The first week, it was very small and I didn't know what was going on. But the 2nd week came and I have not had peace since then. They have wall street blocked off so the side walks are they only when to get around and it normally is covered by tourist. So it's traffic almost 24-7. They are always so many cops all over wall street. I don't think I have ever felt so safe before.  Then they have days and nights that wall street is "frozen" meaning you have to live on wall street or work on it to get on it. They decide this knowing what the protest have been up to and what they have planned. There was one night that I got off work late and was on the subway line 4, when I normally take the 2, and get to the front of wall street and the cops wouldn't let me in because I had no proof of residence or a NY idea...I finally convinced them to call my apartment and talk to them. The cop took down the phone number and called them on his phone and after about 5 minutes, I finally was able to walk through! That has happened more than once now!!! The park that they are "occupying" is about 5 minutes from my  apartment so I don't deal with them on a daily bases but they affect a lot around me. One sunday, I decided to spend some time at the park and try to learn about what they are really protesting and just to be educated on what has been affecting my daily routine so much. It was pretty interesting. Of course, the day I choose to go was the day after the huge pepper spray incident, so more cops and they protesters were very aggressive that day. Its still pretty crazy to me to know that this is something I am right in the middle. This is something that I will never forget and will one day talk to my children about! I do believe this protest is making history. 

Im sorry

So its been a while since I have blogged and I am sorry. A lot of things have been going on, I just have been so busy that blogging isn't on my top list of things to get done. But after hearing so many people disappointed in me for not blogging, I am going to try to keep up with it! For this blog I am just going to post some interesting pictures I have taken lately then tomorrow I am going to post things on "occupy wall street."

The things I see.... 

I have started to really understand that the things I see on a Daily bases are not normally things. This for example. These were taken on wall street, this is the subway line 2. The one I take most often. I am not sure what happened but there were fire trucks all along wall street and cops everywhere...  

"Tonys" 

Since I am staying in NYC longer then what my parents would of liked. I had to start supporting myself finically. So my talent manager got me a job at this beautiful Italian  Restaurant called "Tonys." I love it! The people I work with all are all so sweet. I finally feel like I have some sort of family here. I actually look forward to going to work! 

Passport to Discovery Cruise 2011

Most people know that last year I won a modeling competition in dallas through barbizon which gave me a scholarship to attend the Passport to Discovery Cruise and compete there. Well this year they invited me back on the cruise to be a staff member. Of course, I said yes! It was a free cruise.. who would say no? The Fun part was that they invited my mother to be staff too. So when moving to NYC we figured out that going on the cruise would be the first time I would see my mom since I left. Which brought joy to my mother! When packing for NYC, I had to pack things for the cruise because I would be flying from New York to Florida and then boarding the boat from there. The cruise was August 8th. My flight left at 7:30am. Getting to the airport that morning was one of the worst mornings ever! I was flying out of the JFK airport because you can take the subway and then an air train for $5 which compared to a $50 taxi is amazing! Flying by myself for the first time, I wanted to leave early and be very prepared so around 3:30 I headed to the subway. Having to lug all my stuff down the subway stairs was an disaster! Then finally making it done the stairs and into the hot subway. I see a sign that says the J train will not be running downtown at the station I was at from 12-5 am. What do I do now.. is the only thought running through my head. First of, subways only run every 30 minutes to an hour from 12-5 am. So I decided to go uptown and then transfer to the J train going downtown. I get off at the next stop.. and the same sign was there.. NO J TRAIN GOING DOWNTOWN. By now its 4:14... Im hot, sweaty, and very tired! It was going to 5 before another uptown train came so I just decided to wait at that station for the train coming downtown. At 5:10 I finally was on the subway heading to the airport! After such a stressful morning I was on my flight. I have not seen my mom since May 23 and I was about to see her as soon I landed. It was such a comfortable feeling seeing her and hugging her! To sub up the trip. I had a blast! I was a chaperon and I had 9 girls from 15-16 and they were the best girls I could ask for. They all got along and just were very respectful. I would say out of all the Staff, I had the best and easiest job. I got to do whatever my girls wanted to do. If that was swim, play golf, see any shows, or just hang out around the boat. But the best part was that when the girls were in meetings, competitions, or anything I had "my time." Me and my mother got to spend some good quality time together and catch up since it was so long since we saw each other. It was the exact same cruise so we went to Grand Cayman and Cozumel Mexico! Both places we just went shopping and then to the beach. It was so beautiful and full of excitement! The cruise definitely went by way too fast and then it came time for me and my mommy to go two different ways...It was so hard for me to say goodbye.. seeing my mom in tears just made my heart drop. This cruise was a great vacation and much needed! But seeing my mom was kinda like a tease...It made me miss my home, my family, and having a mom to care physically be there for me. I cant wait for PPD 2012 :) 

Update!

Today is September 5th and my last blog was July 28. That is just not right! I have so much to say and just to catch everyone up on. I am first going to start off with the reason I didn't blog for a while because I some how lost my blog. When I logged in, it said I had no blogs and I could start a new one. I tried every help link I could find but then my patience went out and I just gave up. A couple of days ago, I chose to figure it out! So now I am back to Blogging. Im not sure how I am going to blog for the month that I missed so I am going to recap by photos and descriptions of the photos!