What you don't see...

So tonight I was going to blog about the filming of batman on wall street but something came up so we will keep that for another night and tonight will be on friendship and  life in NYC. For people who truly know me and my "life story" know that I have been through hell and back with so called "friends" and with girls, but it's the things that they have done to me that has given me the strength to do what I am doing now. I would say all my life I had a small group of friends because to me it was the quality of the friendship rather then then numbers of friends...When I moved to NYC I knew it was going to be very hard to keep in touch with everyone but I didn't know that it would be this hard....This might came out wrong but its my blog so I can say it... People have to realize that even though it looks like my life is so perfect living NYC pursuing  modeling, getting to live a dream.. It's extremely hard, lonely, and at times very depressing. Yes, I am truly blessed and very thankful but its one of the hardest things I have ever done. Everyone sees all the good things but never the bad things.  Can you image moving to a big city all by yourself at the age of 19? Knowing NO ONE... and having people came into your life, growing close then moving away? Having no family, and no one that is super close to you?? I cry myself to sleep some nights but then I think I want to do this for myself because its a dream and I want to fulfill it. Being here alone, it only takes a little to make me happy and feel loved. I am finally finding out who my real friends are. First of all, a friendship takes two people....Even though I am the one who moved away doesn't mean that I am the only one who needs to be in communication with you. Both ways! My true friends Know how I feel and we will send sweet text whenever we can. Yes, its very hard because we are all extremely busy but one sweet text can make someones day. And confirmation on how someone feels is always a good thing too.There are a few people in my life that have given me so much strength and encouragement I have no idea what I would do without them! Its those people that I thank God for. Tonight, I have figured out that some people just don't need to be in my life anymore because they were just hurting me in the long run. I have lost enough people to know how important it is to tell people how you feel. Maybe I do need to be a little more aggressive with that. Im sorry if this is all over the place, I will say writing this I was hurt, and sad!

When You smile, I smile :)

So the last week or so has honestly been two of the best weeks living in NYC! Gods timing is always so funny! When I first moved to the city I found, The Icarus Account twin brothers with an amazing talent!  They write there own songs but also are know for some amazing covers! Look them up! There music has inspired me so much and has gotten me through all the struggles I have faced living here in NYC. Well in the summer, I liked there fan page and the next thing I noticed was that Ty Turner, The one with long hair, Added me to his personally page and we started talking. We started skyping, texting and talking on the phone! JUST AS FRIENDS. Okay.. so the point of this story is that this past week he was in NYC and we meet and hung out in person for the first time. He is one of the sweetest guys I have met and is friends with! We hung out a couple of times but he sadly left today... Surprisingly it was very hard to say goodbye to him.. But we plan on keeping in touch and staying friends! If you have not heard of them but I highly suggest you youtube them! I am addicted to there music. :) Moving on! I talked about her in my last blog very shortly but God has brought her into my life for reason.... A friend! Amy, My new roommate. I have been praying that I would meet someone that I would be able to call my best friend and open up to and talk to here in NYC, and God for sure answered my prayers! Every time I come home from work we both just talk and we already can read each other and know what the other is thinking without a word. The other roommates have kinda taken over the living room so me and her took over the bedroom! We put up the first christmas decoration. A little christmas tree! The vibe in the bedroom is such a different vibe then the one in the living room and its a good thing. I finally  feel comfortable and at "home" in my bedroom.

Sunshine and Rain

"Sitting in silence
Trying to fight this
Trying to make it last"

-The Icarus Account

I am just getting ready for bed and decided that I needed to write in my blog and just update a little.. Work at tony's has been going great! Its getting to be the holidays so we are booked almost every weekend! Its fun to see so many people from different areas of the country! My managers are very appreciative of how hard I work and it feels good to know your hard work is paying out. I have been there for almost two months, I think, and have been given two raises. Some of the hostess that have been there for longer then me, are not very happy with me. But I just let it go cause obvious I work harder then them.  But anyway.. I got a new roommate her name is Amy! And I absolutely adore her. She is one of the sweetest girls you will ever meet. We just hang in the bedroom alone and Listen to pandora and talk at night! I finally feel like I almost have a sister. We have a lot of common and we just bonded very fast! She is a year younger then me so I instantly feel like an older sister in her life! She has only been her for one week but we instantly clicked. Anyway.. I finally get to go home for a week on nov 19th and I am so excited. I have not been home since I moved to NYC so its past due! Its very stressful though because I will only be there for a week and I have a lot of people to visit and see. But its going to fun and I deff need it. Well Its time for bed, So goodnight! <3