Its about me right now

Its about me right now


Monday, May 30, 2011

The sun doesn't Always shine

"So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder than I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on"

It is 10:30 on Monday night and Im in my apartment all alone. I know my last couple blogs have been pretty upbeat and happy but this one will show a different emotion. Don't start worrying about me, I will be fine and I will get through it. Yes I am in NYC, what could ever be better then this? Is something I know someone will be thinking about, but right now that's the reason for the emotions. It has finally hit me that I am away from everything that I love and brings me comfort, friends, family, and just Austin! I never imaged that I would spend a summer in NYC, It is a dream come true don't get me wrong but today I just wish I had someone to hold me, while crying. I know I have only been here for a week and I still have plenty of time to get to know people but I don't think I have ever felt so lonely in my life. Its hard for me to believe I spent memorial day alone, Where I know in Austin I would of been on the lake with all my friends!! Its a completely different lifestyle here that you cant even compare it. People rush everywhere and don't take time to appreciate all the small things in life. Its crazy to think about all the small moments in life that you could possible miss just because your rushing everywhere you go.  Its all the small things in life that mean so much. Its all the small things I miss. I did have a good weekend on the beach but when I got back to my apartment, is when the emotions started coming. I cant thank Leslie West enough. She just sat on the phone listening to me cry and calmed me down! But at the same time, It made me cry little more because I miss her! Everyone is going to have there weak days because that's what makes you strong. I just had a really bad weak day! After I got off the phone with leslie I went on a run! Its the only thing that calms me down. I ran to the pier and it was so busy people everywhere! I just laid on the steps looking up to the sky and watching the boats speed by! It was so calming and relaxing. Thats when I told myself, I can do this, I just have to stay strong.

To caleb: There is nothing I could say or do to explain how much I miss you. I think of you every day. I brought your picture to NYC with me and put it in on my window and the other day my roommate asked " Is that your boyfriend?" I just started crying.. No one will ever understand how I felt about you. When I close my eyes I see you, No matter where I am. I know your always here and your always watching over me. But it keeps getting harder.  I look up to you for strength because I  know I will see you some day soon. 

“Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.

After writing for 30 minutes I feel better. I am not depressed I just wanted to write how i felt because it helps! I advise everyone to do it! I know tomorrow the sun will shine and I will have a beautiful day! Goodnight.. 

Friday, May 27, 2011

Never Too Late

I just got too busy to blog about my day yesterday, thursday, so I am going to do it now! Thursday morning I woke up and ran! It was a beautiful morning and I had no plans. I just jogged around the neighborhood, No I didn't go to the pier, I wanted to switch it up since it was a morning run. Around 2:00 I had a interview which went very well! After my interview I went make to my apartment to change and I was going to walk time square but my roommate and her friends were going to coney island and they invited me! It was about a 40 min subway trip but it was my first time to ride a subway outside! The view was nothing special but had a lot of art, graffiti. The view was so beautiful once you stepped out of the subway. We walked around the beach, played in the sand, and just sat and looked out into the water! It was so relaxing. On the strip there is "Nathan's" which is a famous hot dog place! Of course, we had to stop and get their hotdogs and lemonade! It was pretty yummy but nothing too special. We were all ready to go so we headed back into the city. Its so funny to think that in NY you can take a subway anywhere and in less than an 1 hour your there. Where in texas, you can drive for 8 hours and still be in Texas! I am pretty excited that I have a clean, pretty beach right around the corner! We headed to the apartment to shower up and get all cute because we were going to have a fun night! After a long, fun, exciting day my bed never seemed to comfy! I had the best night sleep since I have been here! :)

Thursday, May 26, 2011


Since it was a beautiful day and I only had a few things to do I decided to go to Coney Island with my roommate and some of her friends! Its a beautiful beach.

During the summer, this is where you will find me if i am not working! It doesn't compare to six flags, schlitterbahn, the lake, or sea world! But it excites me :) 

We couldn't go without eating at Nathan's, the famous hotdog place! It was pretty yummy but I didn't think it was anything too special! 

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Trust your agents!

Today was a beautiful day, but it also made me wish I was in austin because I would of totally been on the lake! Anyway...  I had my second hair appointment for them to fix, i guess change, my hair! Yesterday we just added blonde highlights but my agents wanted something a little more dramatic. Rich, depth, and red tones were the three words they made sure I told the hairstylist. I was so nervous when they said red, RED! I never thought I would be okay with having red in my hair! Instead of just highlighting my hair, they actually dyed my all my hair then added red highlights! After 3 hours I am in love with it! I learned that I just have to trust my agents because they know whats best for me! When I was finished my hair I walked to my agents office and everyone in the office loved it! That was the first time, I had gotten everyones attention in the office! On my way to the subway to head back to my apartment I stopped at PRET, which is a organic, all natural deli! My sandwich was delicious! Then I headed home. I got home around 5:00 and I decided that I was ready to go on my jog. So as my new routine I jog to the pier and just relax and listen to music, its my time to take everything in! It was so beautiful, the weather, the sunlight, and the beautiful boats! It was breathtaking! Now is 8:26 and I am blogging while watching "Minute to win it." I am about to go sit in the steam room, do abs, then shower and head to bed. <3

Photo's for Wednesday

I have decided instead of just blogging, I am going to blog with pictures of things through out the day! So here I go!
This is my new hair color! I got blonde highlights put in yesterday but my agents didn't like it and they wanted something completely different and this was the Final product! I love it and so does everyone at MMG! 

I still cant get over that I am only 3 mins away from ground zero, its unbelievable to me. 

This has become a routine to me. Every evening i jog out to the pier and just sit and relax! Its beautiful

In the middle of the jog there were two break dancers that were performing and I just happen to take this wonderful photo! I actually got pulled out of the audition and they both jumped over me but of course I couldn't take the photo. 

Some Pictures :)

The Cross from Ground Zero 

Pier 10. 

I never thought water would bring me comfort 

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


Here I am, sitting in my apartment, in NYC at 12:24! This is the second day that I have been here by my self. I arrived here friday morning with my mother! But she left monday at 3am! I was going to start blogging yesterday but for some reason or another I didn't. For those who really know me, I am not a writer and I am not a good writer! But I am doing this for me to look back on and for those who are interested. I am going to recap the last 4 days!

Friday: Our airplane landed in NYC at 2:00 am. We stayed in this small hotel 5 mins away from the airport. The hotel had a free bus transportation, which was great, but when we got the hotel, I was sketchy. They had no cart to put all of our luggage and no one to help. So me and my mother had to roll our 5 suitcases by ourself! We finally got to the hotel room and crashed. We had our first appointment with MMG, my agent, at 12:00, but we had to move our stuff into my apartment first. The meeting went so well and brought some good news! Then we had just walked around where my apartment is. This is when it hit me that I was less than 3 minutes away from ground zero, I am still speechless.

Saturday and sunday: Shopping days! Me and my mother went shopping for my apartment! There is nothing else I can write about....

Monday: Sadly, this was the day my mommy left me :(.. She woke up at 2ish and left around 3..then She kissed me goodbye. I woke up around 9:30 sad to see I was all alone. It was pretty sad, to be honest. I had a scheduled interview at 2 but when I went, the manager had just left so I decided to just walk around time square! In NYC, the time just flies by. Later that evening, I went on a jog and I found this beautiful pier only 10 minutes away from my apartment! The view was breathtaking and so calming. It brought me so much comfort.

Tuesday: I had my hair appointment at Frederico's at 11:00, I got so lost!!!! I think I walked past it about 5 times! I finally found it and made it on time! Its a beautiful salon! I felt famous going into it. This was the first time I had ever had my hair colored or highlighted. After about two hours, I was finally done! I liked what they did but my agent didn't. So I am going back tomorrow to get it redone. I will post pictures tomorrow! I arrived to my apartment around 5:00. Tonight, was the first night me and my roommate, Lynsee got to get to know each other! It makes me happy! I finally feel comfortable with her and have one friend!! Its getting pretty late so im off to bed :) Goodnight!